The 71st edition of the Cannes Film festival opened on May the 8th with the viewing of “Todos lo saben” a Spanish film directed by Irani Asghar Farhadi with Spanish power couple Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem.
The films competing for the “Palme d’Or” are always an eclectic selection of international, indy movies, which will only be screened at the Curzon for a couple of weeks and, if you muster the courage to go see them, will let you puzzled for many days to come.
So “Everybody knows” the real competition lays more on the red carpet than on the big screen. This year being the first edition of the biggest film festibval after the Metoo movement and the Harvey Weinstein scandal, everybody was anxious to see what would the stars be wearing. Would things change in the industry as Penelope Cruz said on her opening night interview, as well as on the red carpet? Not so sure… Let’s have a look at the first days and their fabulous moments and big No-No’s
It is always more fun to bash
The Fashion Disasters
1- The naked dresses
Boobs, Naked dress, contouring, exposed tattoos, coloured contact lenses and foot long lashes… What is Kim Kardashian-West doing in Cannes??? Oh, wait! It is not Kim but Chantel Jeffries. Who???? Don’t bother. But I thought it was time for equality of sexes, payrolls, opportunities, meritocracy???!!!! Clearly some girls didn’t got #Metoo memo
When you don’t have anything smart to say, show your boobs… And you underwear too, if you’re lucky enough to wear any….
Online magazines referred to this ladys as a “guest”as they had no clue who she was or what she was doing here. My guess is she might have got the
Ice Rink location wrong on Google maps
1- The bling dresses
Clearly these women should get a refund from their fashion stylists if they ever used any
Lady Gaga? Statue of Liberty? Muting Virus????Unicorn on LSD? Nope, it’s Elena Lenina more known for her fashion extravagances than her talent
This 71st edition of the Cannes Film festival was Mouna Ayoub’s big come back on the fashion scene.
Wait no, sorry, it is Eva Longoria. The bling blind sided me for a second
3- The meringue dresses
Princess and unicorn themed dresses and birthday parties should be banned after 8 years old but apparently some stars had lost their luggage and had to raid the nearest Disney store.
Fan Bing Bing in Cinderella’s prom dress. I couldn’t but notice that she only owned one bag, not the prettiest though…
At least she takes recycling and reusing at heart.
Penelope Cruz letting the girls out in a 2-size-too-small-cinderella dress
This one is really odd as it looks like the frosting has melted on the cupcake…
The top should have been worn inside the skirt but, hey, the gould news is that Carrie Fisher, aka Princess Leïa is still alive!!!!!!
4- The ugly dresses
One of my favourite actresses, fashion icon, absolute beauty returns to Cannes as a L’oréal Ambassador after a 9 year leave. She is as stunning as ever but this dress looks like an old curtain on her. The waist is too high and loose, the colour washes her out, the galoches are hideous … How to turn a gorgeous and edgy woman into Laura Ingalls
This is Mademoiselle Adjani outside the prairie
Not only Penelope Cruz only wore an ugly French Cancan-like dress but she also had to adjust the straps twenty times in the 40m long walk she took. I am not certain that the black bushy ruffles running down the front of the gown was completely tasteful either…
Chloé Sevigny is an edgy actress who loves making fashion stances and taking risks. It may be wise from time to time to play it a bit safer, touch up your roots, conceal those abyssal dark circles and forgo of the weird tiered dress which makes you look like a wrapped candy.
Laura Tenoudji, ex TV journalist of the cult Télématin morning news didn’t look her best in this very unflatering décolletage. I love a woman who dares a no bra looks but in her case a push-up bra might have been a good idea
The Almost there ones
1- Ironing a dress before a red carpet event is always a good idea
Cécile de France wearing Jaquemus, one of my favourite designers, should have been a smashing hit. Unfortunately, Cécile’s stylist deemed it unnecessary to iron her ivory linen dress, advising Miss de France to pull up the sleeves of her dress would have lightened up the whole silhouette too…
Whereas Sophie Marceau absolutely nailed the demure white dress, in Jean-Paul Gaultier, look during the 2015 Cannes Film Festival
Same ironing problem for Virginie Ledoyen’s dress which on top of being creased made her look like a shipwreck-Greek-Goddess-survivor
2- The odd combo
When you walk the red carpet with your spouse or co-workers, it is always a good idea to test the look and the whole impression before the event as some association might prove a tad hazardous. Emmanuelle Seigner and Roman Polanski here look like Snow White and Happy
The “Based on a true story” director is sandwiched here between his two leading ladies, or is it Happy between Snow White and Edward Scissor Hands?
3- The too simple when you’re Mick Jagger’s daughter one
Georgia May would look stunning in a potato sack but the boring black dress, dark roots and toes hanging over the shoe platform
is a far cry from what we expect from the daughter of the man the word Rockstar was created for…
The show stoppers
Louise Bourgoin looked absolutely regal in this pure and simple white dress.
This is my absolute favourite Cannes moment for now
Julian Moore was once more the living proof that you don’t need to reveal too much or be in your early 20’s to turn heads. A little Saint Laurent helped too…
Another regal appearance from Miss Moore, living proof that beauty transcends decades and that elegance cannot be acquired.
Style is the way you carry yourself, it cannot be acquired.
I absolutely love this Saint Laurent dress on Chiara Mastroiani, a tribute to Yves’ designs back in the 80’s.
I might have worn it with electric blue accessories rather than black ones though…
Cate Blanchett, opened the 71st edition of the Cannes Film Festival which she presides in a beautiful Armani Privé (she is the brand Ambassador)
black lace gown which held a little surprise.
And the dress I was telling you about in our Designer’s series, Mary Katranzou’s technicolor wonder created specially for
Cate Blanchett, President of the Jury of the 71st Cannes Film festival
Miss Blanchett’s dress has been slightly altered from the catwalk’s version as the train has be elongated for a dramatic red carpet photo-call as shown on the photo below
Mary received a phone call in January from Miss Blanchett stylist announcing that the actress had been chose to preside the Cannes Film festival this year and would like to show case one of her designs. From the initial design to the final touches, the gown Cate Blanchett wore to the premiere of Cold War took six months to create. Three solid weeks were spent on hand embroidering the custom creation with sequins, bugle beads and Swarovski crystals alone. If you look closer, you can distinguish the paint by design print which featured in the Nostalgia collection but this piece has been lavishly embellished.
A dedicated van was hired to safely convey the dress to Cannes and when we visited Mary in her London Atelier a couple of weeks ago, she was still holding her breath and crossing her fingers that everything would go smoothly and the dress would be actually worn. Cannes may sometimes have an unpredictable side effect on movie stars. But when I saw the pictures of a regal Cate Blanchett, very reminiscent in her appropriation of a garment of the role she played in the movie Elizabeth, I was very emotional and proud of the wonderful job accomplished by Mary and her team.
And correct me if I am wrong but it seams that mature women are rocking the red Carpet in Cannes this year, totally eclipsing the so called starlets.
Well done ladies
Cannes closing fashion police to follow…